Umm I'm too high to move.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize