I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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