Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i came on her dog
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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