3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
