And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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