I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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