I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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