Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
