Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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