so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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