omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize