thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
her vagine was all disorganized.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
