Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
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