she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
