my soul wont recognize me after tonight
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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