Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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