I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
