sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
