I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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