this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
