How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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