I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
