you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
a search helicopter?!
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
