Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
We left an ass print on the piano.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Randomize
