So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
