Need sex. Gaining weight.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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