Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
