last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
