Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
