i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
