I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
