If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
