okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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