Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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