not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
