how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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