You're so nebulous sometimes
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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