If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
