On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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