You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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