Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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