What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
