There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
