he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
