You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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