Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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