FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize