i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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