he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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