i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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