Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
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