new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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