Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize