RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
