would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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