barbara walters just said penis...
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
