i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
