Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
