Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I have surprise drugs for everyone
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
