i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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