Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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