Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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